Cry for Yesterday
by MsRaven
Summary: Sheppard-Weir. Follow on to I Walk Alone.


Title: Cry for Yesterday  
Author: MsRaven  
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: The Siege, part 2  
Note: Sheppard-Weir angst. Follow on to I Walk Alone.

_

* * *

Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed  
Here today, forgot tomorrow...  
Ooh, here besides the news of holy war and holy need  
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk...

* * *

_

John should be happy...ecstatic even. He's alive and, as best stated by Carson, possibly the luckiest bastard that ever lived. But he can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. He wonders if he's so surprised he's alive that his mind can't process being happy yet.

John forces a smile as he gets another pat on the back from one of the Marines. He's not sure if this one came through the gate with Everett or on the Daedalus. There are too many of them in the mess hall right now to really tell the difference from one to the other. There's a subdued party atmosphere in the large common area. They had surprisingly few fatalities and no personnel were taken by Wraith ships. Luckily, the Wraith were busy trying to take the city and they make a point of keeping their food source alive.

He continues to roam around the large room, jumping from one group to another. He doesn't realize what he's looking for until he stumbles upon a group of scientists discussing a petition to keep Dr. Weir in command. John's feet have taken him out of the mess hall and toward the control room before he can formulate another thought.

It's been less than twelve hours since he last set foot in the control room. Everything is now just a blur of sounds and images. The small thud as he landed the jumper lightly on the surface of the hive ship. The customary red-numbered display when he started the countdown on the Genii bomb. The sudden cacophony of voices through the radio. Elizabeth's voice cutting through the chaos and telling him to turn off the cloaking device. Looking out to see a Dart flying straight at the jumper. Opening his eyes and finding himself on the deck of the Daedalus. The hull shaking slightly as the shock wave passed over the ship. A second shock wave as the Daedalus hit its target. Beaming down to the gate room with the Marines. A brief glimpse of Elizabeth in the control room before running out with zat in hand.

The zats made quick work of clearing the city of remaining Wraith. Ford and Teyla were both recovering in the infirmary from stun blasts. The other injuries were minor, mostly scrapes and bruises from falling as they were stunned. Everett wasn't so lucky. He'd fallen over a railing in his struggle with a Wraith. They found him with a broken neck not too far from the control room. The only consolation was Beckett's assessment that it had been a mercifully quick death.

He walks in to find the control room mostly empty. A lone technician sits by the long range sensors, but doesn't notice John walk up and stop short of the balcony doors.

John can see Elizabeth through the glass as she leans against one of the supports beams. He's thrown back to that moment on the stairs and he can't move. Major John Sheppard, the man who flew a nuclear bomb to a Wraith hive ship, can't make himself take the half step necessary to open the doors to the balcony.

The doors slide open on their own and Elizabeth turns at the sound, absolving John from making a decision. She silently watches him walk toward her. Her expression is unreadable in the dim starlight. The moon comes out from behind the clouds and he sees the light reflect off fresh tears on Elizabeth's cheeks.

"Elizabeth..." It comes out as a hoarse whisper. The anguish and fear of the past few days coming to the surface.

Then she's in his arms, hugging him tightly. His own arms come around her and John finally lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. They stay in each other's arms for what seems like hours and mere seconds at the same time. They take comfort in knowing that they've both survived, but their embrace is also tinged with sadness and a desperation to hold on while they can.

Slowly, achingly, Elizabeth pulls back. The space between them quickly filling with the burden of responsibility that separates them - the weight feels heavier on their shoulders now.

John reaches up to place his hands on either side of Elizabeth's face, his thumbs brushing away the last remnants of the tears she shed. In her eyes, he can see a reflection of his own longing and regret. He can't keep himself from placing a lingering kiss on her forehead before stepping back to give her a small smile. The smile she gives in return wavers a bit and he thinks he sees fresh tears pooling in her eyes. Her eyes close and when they open, only the steely determination he knows so well remains. He nods slightly.

There are no words necessary. This is not their time, their moment. But one day, he vows to himself as Elizabeth slips past him back into Atlantis, it will be their time. And when that time comes, the moment won't have to end.

_

* * *

But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world,  
Somehow I have to find.  
And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world...  
I will learn to survive. _

Duran Duran, Ordinary World

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End file.
